phoenix food boutique or ice cube down pants?

during the dog days of summer, it can get so hot that your innards will boil, your skin can fry to a crisp like chicharrones, and your b.o. quadruples in potency due to the heat. if you're a lucky a.c. owning bastard, you can blast that square box of godsend till your brain freezes to avoid this so cal heat...unless you're pathetic like me and all you have is an old school fan that goes click, click, click when it turns. perhaps at some point in this heated desperation, you consider dropping a few ice cubes down your pants to cool down, though if you're a boy, i don't suggest this. i hear your shlong can freeze off...or worse yet, the ice cube will stick to your snake like ralphie's tongue to the flagpole in a christmas story. there's gotta be better ways to cool off than this. oh man, but there is.....

they have a.c. ahhhh...and sweets.....and a.c......and a.c......and a.c.....(click, click, click goes my fan as i type).

and those icy, icy, sweets...mmm...no more ice cubes in me chonies yay! the best item by far for my panting tongue and b.o. emmitting body is the phoenix mango shaved ice ($5.95). holy moly what isn't there to love about a pile of soft fluffy snow, little tapioca balls, sweet mango cubes, and a cold lava flow of mango puree. i'm getting HOT just thinking about something so COLD.

and while you're there, might i suggest that you pick up a few more items especially for your bikini ready body? like these luscious mango mochi balls ($2.95).

soft, yellow-tinted mochi dusted with coconut shavings envelops a large piece of mango. the mango mochi is slightly chilled which feels refreshing to hot sunburned lips BUT this dessert is quite the crap shoot though. sometimes, you get a really sweet mango piece and the bite is HEAVENLY, but sometimes you get a sour OR bland mango piece and you find you're just biting on mediocre mochi. you be the judge.

i also like to pick up a box of their pecan tartlets housed in sushi boxes. i LOVE pecans and the phoenix boutique versions are the perfect balance of sweetness to me since i'm not a fan of overly sweet pecan pies. might i add that these are some lovely bites. too bad the overuse of butter will make you regret this purchase but c'est la vie fatties.

phoenix food boutique also serves savory foods and snacks. on another occasion, whilst waiting for dinner to happen like...4 hours later, we ordered a plate of the spicy squid. acceptable, but the "whiteness" of the batter was so dang odd to me. albino batter? could it be?! perhaps i am just use to old oil and burnt fried foods :0. it was ok. i definitely don't come here for their savory items.

so when it gets so hot again that i actually contemplate dropping a few ice cubes down my pants, you know there's a 50/50 percent chance that i'll be at the phoenix food boutique heifing down some of that mango shaved ice OR at the gas station buying a large bag of ice cubes.

**the alhambra location has super rude servers. i avoid that place like pubic lice. consider yourself warned.**

Phoenix Food Boutique
712 W. Las Tunas Drive
San Gabriel, CA 91776
(626) 289-9888

price: $
verdict: tasty, try it!