no tacos for pops, just silverlake ramen

my dad has some busted old teeth but the funny thing is he likes his occasional hard shell taco and would walk down the block to a little family owned mexican restaurant in the same strip mall as silversun liquor store to buy his occasional taco crunch. my dad did it for years and the restaurant was there for years. ahhh, memories.

about a year or so ago, i had to break it to him that his go-to hard taco place was no more. it is now replaced with silverlake ramen. they serve eatables like THESE which do not resemble a hard taco AT ALL. sorry pops.

crispy rice with spicy tuna ($4.50). it was a good way to start the meal says the spicy tuna whoreasaurus.

spicy tuna bowl (which came with the combo meal but otherwise would be $4.50/$7.50 depending on the size). filling it was, though the bowl was rice heavy. i skipped much of the rice when i witnessed my flappy underarms jiggle as i reached for my glass of water.

a blossoming side salad offering you the only greens of the night, that is, if ruffiage is important to you and all. it's not? what?! are you like a constipated cave man?

tonkotsu ramen ($8.50) with the most custardy broth in the world. if i was to use a straw to suck up the broth (which i won't but if you do i won't judge) i don't think it would even go through. the sucker is thick and per their personal description of the broth, "our ramen broth soup is boiled for 16 hours for richness and taste." i wouldn't say i was a fan of the broth, but it was definitely full of flavor.

so those are a few things you can eat at silverlake ramen. sorry no more hard taco shell tacos for pops, though his younger daughter did offer him a taco bell run. i hope he says no.

Silverlake Ramen
2927 W Sunset Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90026
http://silverlakeramen.com/

price: $
verdict: it's aight

eating at fat spoon with a fork

if you walk down 1st street in little tokyo in search of eats, it is obvious that the bell of the ball is daikokuya. just check out the throng of people huddled around the perimeter waiting for their name to be called just so they can slurp down a bowl of hot ramen. although daikokuya is absolutely worthy of waiting till the end of time, sometimes hunger dictates you to eat sooner rather than later so enter rebound option #1, FAT SPOON which is located RIGHT NEXT DOOR.

fat spoon is a curious little establishment headed by michael cardenas (lazy ox canteen), chef hiro fujita, and company. before entering their quaint little shop, i definitely had high expectations and really wanted this rebound to work out. we enthusiastically ordered four dishes for our noshing pleasure to be shared amongst a company of three.

since i am such a sucka for risotto, the seafood tomato risotto ($12) was a must order for me. unfortunately, i was greeted with mushy textures and bland flavors. if there was ever an urge to offend the kitchen by asking for salt, this would be the time to do so. skip.

the uni with mushroom pasta ($14) was underwhelming as well. again, the pasta was bland and would benefit from seasoning whereas the uni was too delicate in this particular dish to exert its presence which makes me question their inclusion. i definitely need to search for a more impressive uni pasta dish in l.a.!

i was also underwhelmed by the pork cutlet curry ($10) which had a curiously strange texture that bordered on being slightly rubbery. the curry was also mild and one noted which is a complete departure from the usual complex flavors of japanese curry. absolutely disappointing.

alas, we did hit upon ONE dish that night that was surprisingly tasty, the tarako pasta ($10). the salted cod roe added bursts of briny flavors to the pasta which melded quite nicely with the creamy sauce. the creamy sauce was so addictively tasty that my sister spooned the sauce onto her portion of the drab uni pasta. this dish was the first one at our table to be polished off and i would definitely order again.

overall, fat spoon did not shine. in my opinion, their lackluster flavors do not present any threat to daikokuya, the hottest chick on 1st street. although i've been told that their mini corn dogs and uni croquettes are to die for, i do not know if those fried items and the tarako pasta can seduce me back to its doors given the vast eating options we have available to us in our city.

Fat Spoon
329 E. 1st St.
Los Angeles, CA 90012
(213) 621-7890
http://fatspoonfood.com

price: $$
verdict: it's aight

mohawk bend for a quick trip down memory lane (echo park)

without specifying the digits that makes up my age, let's just say that i remember mohawk bend as an old movie theater and not as its current fashionable state as a vegan/vegetarian friendly feeding ground. in fact, i even watched "ghostbusters" there as a kid. yup, i'm kinda old and echo park has changed A LOT. trust.

after the theater finally closed its doors, the space remained vacant for a very long time and was a hotbed for graffiti and the homeless on sunset blvd. every time i drove by that boarded up theater, i always hoped it would reopen once again so i can catch a flick and reminisce about growing up in silverlake and watching movies with my cousins in echo park. but alas, any reminiscing will now be relegated to beer slinging in the now sultry, sexy mohawk bend. beer vs. popcorn, you decide.

as my friend and i settled down for our mohawk meal, we were given an extensive beer menu to peruse. i decided on the orange wheat beer ($5) which was delicious, fruity, and absolutely lip smacking pleasant for a non-beer lova like me. if i can swig a few glasses like this orange wheat, i reckon i will become a beer guzzling, beer enthusiast in no time. and for all the criticism about mohawk bend's food, you really can't beat their 72 beers on tap which to some folks may make a fine liquid dinner...screw the stuff that requires mastication and jaw work.

that night, we decided to pad our bellies with their fire roasted artichoke ($9) which was standard eats verging on boring. skip.

the cold jj kale salad ($8) with garlic, chili, and jicama fared slightly better. i enjoyed the ruffage and the acid from the dressing, but again, the taste profiles were neither mind blowing nor note worthy.

the keenwah ($10) salad with organic quinoa, pomegranate, red & gold beets, herbs, lemon-maple vinaigrette was tasty. the pistachios added a much needed crunch since the salad wilted rather quickly under the quinoa and beets.

the side of rosemary fries ($4) with togarashi for dipping were probably my favorite bites of the night. but then again, how does one eff up fries? yup, you just don't. the slightly sweet element to the togarashi makes this a must order beer accompaniment for me.

overall, although i am sad that i can no longer catch movies in this space, i am certainly excited for a place to unwind and hang out with friends over drinks. i think to avoid disappointment, do go in with the knowledge that food will be average but the libations are extensive and will cater to most beer lovers. hip hip hooray for drinking sans eating!

Mohawk Bend
2141 W. Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90026
(213) 483-2337
www.mohawk.la

price: $$
verdict: (food) it's aight (beers) tasty, try it!

hawai'i: side street inn for a greasy kiss

our last big meal in oahu was spent at side street inn which is known for their late hours, kimchi fried rice, fried pork chops, and a full bar. although eager to eat after a successful day of shopping (i am a gal. i am genetically programmed to shop), i was not ready for the huge portion sizes dished out by this eatery in ala moana. oh woe is me, my fat belly and all.

the ice tea was sweet and refreshing.

colin's homemade oxtail soup ($14) served with nori musubi reminded me of my mom's own homemade soups. this medly of daikon, shiitake mushrooms, and pieces of tender oxtail was a most comforting reminder of my momma as we took sips of this savory brew.

we were told their pan fried island pork chops ($22) was a local favorite so we promptly ordered it. one bite left a greasy kiss on my lips and a lump in my belly. although tasty as all fried things are destined to be, these particular fried pork chops were massive and provoked a sense of guilt that only eating a slice of triple layer chocolate cake can rival.

since they were out of their infamous kimchi fried rice, we ordered their side style famous fried rice ($12) which we were told was their o.g. rice dish. again, tasty, yet greasy. not another greasy kiss i thought...but kiss i did. in fact, the whole meal felt like i was making out with a greasy faced sumo wrestler. not hot. not at all.

Side Street Inn
1225 Hopaka St.
Honolulu, HI 96814
(808) 591-0253
sidestreetinn.com/

price: $$
verdict: it's aight

pappaRich has super buttery buns!

destructive behavior means willingly engaging oneself in bad-for-you activities. for instance, like eating candy right before your dentist appointment or smoking crack. if you find yourself in the presence of this man, he will surely enable you in every single destructive way possible. don't let that happy smile fool ya. bad man.

he guards the entrance to his lair of badness....a lair known for especially entrapping people with muffin tops and those that swear that they won't eat badly anymore but end up DOING THE EXACT OPPOSITE. oh man, i confess...i'm one of THOSE. how the heck did i end up with greasy, buttery lips when i promised i wouldn't overindulge on random fats anymore? fail.

for $5.25, this combo snack did me in. their fragrant english tea washed down the buttery evidence left from their signature papparich bun.

and their bun. dear lord. this korean style bun has a layer of mocha cream paste on top which gets melted on the bun during the baking process. the resulting effect is a sweet, somewhat crunchy exterior. once you break into the bun, you reveal soft, pillowy bread innards AND an alarming pat of butter in the center that barely melted through. "holy crap, i just bought bigger pants yesterday!" i exclaimed once i took my initial bite. the sopping buttery middle was a little bit too much for me to enjoy so i ate around it like a beaver gnawing on tasty driftwood. although papparich has oodles of die hard fans, for once, the fatty in me actually thought it was too buttery and just.too.much. go figure.

i will probably give these buttery buns another try and only if they are piping hot. not to mention all the coffee choices that i did not partake in which warrants a second visit. till then, i give papparich a lukewarm high five.

PappaRich
100 W. Green St.
Pasadena, CA 91105
(626) 440-0009

www.papparichusa.com

price: $
verdict: it's aight

prim and proper eats at jin patisserie

after the 5th "shit," "fuck," or "mofo" that exits my mouth before the morning is even over, i know it's about time to remind myself of my manners. what better way to practice being a proper lady than having proper afternoon tea at jin patisserie on abbot kinney.

with my black board eats coupon in hand and the opportunity to chillax with a friend during a mid week afternoon, i donned my granny dress and took my filthy, cuss spewing mouth to jin patisserie. please do not be wary that the space is rather small and very serene, nor should you be surprised by the sudden urge to cross your legs, keep your elbows off the table, and whisper like a proper lady/gentleman. i know once i stepped through that entrance, the forceful feeling of behaving myself was rather strong.

since the bbe coupon was such a deal giving us a 30% discount on the afternoon tea which is normally priced at $19, my friend and i also decided to share a lunch set as well. first up was the tea set which has not changed much from my visit two years ago. the afternoon tea ($19) was comprised of two scones, petite egg salad finger sandwiches, a mushroom quiche, and an assortment of four petite chocolates and cakes. though lovely items to nibble on as we sipped our pot of aromatic vietnam note de lotus tea, the savory items did not have much of a presence and was totally eclipsed by the sweets on the plate. overall, this tea set was not memorable at all. now it makes sense that the nice impression i had of jin patisserie had nothing to do with the food, but more from the setting and the tea that i sipped. if it wasn't for the bbe discount, i might have whined a bit.

the duck proscuitto brie sandwich lunch set ($15.50) was anticlimactic as well. the duck meat tasted strangely like ham and did not have the somewhat "gamey" taste of properly prepared duck that honored it's natural quacky flavor. i was also distracted by the overpowering brie cheese presence which competed strongly with the proscuitto making it a duel between ham and cheese. where be the duck in this fight? after finishing my half, i was convinced that jin patisserie's strength does not lie in their savory items at all. oh poo (see, at least i didn't say shit).

the lunch special was quickly followed with a passion fruit infused mascarpone cake with fresh mango which came with the lunch set. the cake was light and mildly sweet and was a perfect compliment to our earthy tea.

i picked up two of their macarons right before we left, the vanilla and the sea salt caramel ($1.30 each). i thought they were petite domes of sugar and felt a little diabetic after inhaling the two. next time, i would say "pass" to these.

although my objective that afternoon was to remind myself of what it means to be a proper lady, i would be a liar to say i did not have high expectations of the tea set as well. i guess my memory did serve me correctly and this experience reminded me that their savory items are not their strong suit. i think jin patisserie is a wonderful place to eat dessert, sip tea, and chat with your girl friends about things that makes us chicks. but if you're looking for a delicious savory meal to boot, i think you may feel slightly disappointed like me.

Jin Patisserie
1202 Abbot Kinney Blvd.
Venice, CA 90291
(310) 399-8801

www.jinpatisserie.com

price: $$
verdict: it's aight

bloody hens and mousse balls at payard patisserie and bistro

having decided that i was going to overstimulate the economy by shopping while in las vegas, the rest of the eats were relegated to prix fixe menus or affordable bites that did not involve the golden arches if possible. yes, when a girl has a plan, she sticks to it!

having heard about payard patisserie desserts from a candy blog that i frequent, i was pretty determined to go there for a chocolate overdose until i found out they also had a prix fixe lunch menu. the plan then changed to belly ruptures THEN chocolate overdose.

payard is located in ceasars palace and has two parts. the pastry section which you can pick up sweets or a sammich or two and a sit in dining area. the dining area is rather intimate and the chefs cook in the middle.

the prix fixe menu was priced at $21 for an appetizer (two options), entree (two options), and a dessert (gazillion options). since i had a partner in crime to eat it with, we decided on the strategic move of ordering one of each.

the tomato mozzarella salad. tart dressing and super fresh tasting ingredients. great way to begin the meal.

shrimp romesco. sauteed shrimp with garlic, chili flakes, and olive oil. there was a superb kick to the shrimp and i wished those two shrimps had procreated right there on the slice of bread so i can eat their babies. yummy.

mediterranean sea bass. pan seared sea bass with ratatouille sitting in a pool of oven roasted tomato vinaigrette. i thought the sea bass was salty...good thing it wasn't my pick :)

roasted poussin. oven roasted cornish game hen with truffle leek pan jus and a hockey puck sized crispy mash patotoes. this dish had good flavors, but the bird was a bit too bloody for my tastes. when i sent it back to the chef, she made a comment that "it's suppose to be like that" and popped it in the oven until the bird turned black before it was brought out to me again. ugh. i've been raised not to eat a bloody bird and cancerous burnt bits so i left this dish pretty much intact. such deflation.

the dessert round started with payard's banana tart which is banana and vanilla cream spiked with rum on a sweet tart shell.

and MY dessert, the louvre. that's french for "fat ball of chocolate and hazelnut mousse that will make you weep." yes, it was that good. creamy, luscious, and heavy, it is meant to be shared but my friend was already unconscious from the tart so i single-handedly ate half of it....done. *burp*

i would come back again for their sweets, but probably not again for their savory items. the nasaly comment made by the young chef still twangs in my ears. but for what it's worth and if you're on an..ahem, shopping budget, it's aight.

Payard Patisserie and Bistro
Ceasar's Palace
3570 Las Vegas Blvd.
Las Vegas, NV 89136
(702) 731-7292

www.payard.com

price: $$
verdict: it's aight but the desserts were delicious!

a chilled glass of chocolatey irony at serendipity 3

fate. destiny. john cusack. serendipity.

actually, none of those words had any influence on me eating at serendipity 3 when i was in las vegas this past week. the only words that did were FROZEN HOT CHOCOLATE.

the words FROZEN HOT CHOCOLATE makes me think of alanis morissette's song "ironic." how can something frozen be hot and how can something hot be cold? and if so does that mean hell can freeze over? better yet, will i live long enough to see that day? although i did not witness lucifer in a down jacket, i did sip some frozen hot chocolate at serendipity 3. and for $9.75 a pop for a small cup (the "for two" size is big enough to allow you to skinny dip in it), you can taste a little bit of irony, too.

how does irony taste like you may wonder? icy and chocolatey. not overwhelming or underwhelming...just static and basic. in fact, if this is what irony tastes like, then i would have rather spent my 10 duckets on a straight forward chocolate milkshake instead.

i also didn't appreciate the fact that it's powder based with a ton of ice blended in. perhaps i missed the creamy nature of a milkshake...or perhaps i felt like a fool paying $9.75 for cocoa powder and ice. perhaps the hype deflated too quickly in front of me and even viagra couldn't help it. perhaps i just don't like the way irony tastes. perhaps it would have tasted better if john cusack was actually sitting in it. perhaps i need to stop using the word perhaps. perhaps.

not willing to sit in gustatory defeat, i ordered a side of sweet potato fries ($6) hoping for a deep fry high. oh momma i'm glad i did because it was tasty! sweet, crispy, with a hint of brown sugar to bring this savory item to an almost dessertish level. though small in portion side, it is big enough fatty. although i did not taste their other menu items, i was pretty much convinced that this was as good as it'll get.

*sigh* oh irony. it's like hoping to win it big in vegas. the end.

Serendipity 3
3570 Las Vegas Blvd. S
Las Vegas, NV 89109
(702) 731-7373

www.caesarspalace.com/casinos/ca...

price: $$
verdict: it's aight