hawai'i: helena's hawaiian food will pop your pants good

while people head towards hawai'i thinking of sunning on the beach or snorkeling with the fishes, my own hawaiian plans involved eating till my pants popped. sure, i can pop my pants anywhere, BUT, i wanted to pop them real good with some authentic hawaiian food like the stuff you find at helena's hawaiian foods in honolulu. omg, ono. no, seriously, ono.

in order to avoid the maddening lines that form almost as soon as helena's open, we got there at exactly 10am (they are open tuesday through friday so plan accordingly). given the option to sit anywhere, i made sure i found a seat that faced the infamous pipikaula short ribs as showcased in the man vs. food hawaiian episode. i think i'm just intrigued by hanging meat and by golly there were lots of them!

after a quick once-over with the menu, we settled on "menu d" ($17.85) which was comprised of their four most popular items; kalua pig, pipikaula short ribs, lomi salmon, luau squid, two cubes of coconut haupia for dessert, and a choice of either two scoops of rice or poi.

although everything was delicious, the standout items by far was the luau squid which consisted of taro leaves, squid, and coconut milk which was cooked until it became a mushy, delicious green mess reminiscent of creamed spinach. although unattractive to look at, it was in fact, one of the highlights of the meal and the silky fragrance of this dish made it rather craveable.

but the king of it all, the main reason to go to helena's is THIS, the pipikaula short ribs. omg. the 24 hour drying process allowed the short ribs to attain an almost jerky like texture but the flavors of the marinade has also deeply penetrated the meat, giving it an intense flavor with every bite. it also didn't hurt the flavor cause that these ribs were deep fried before serving which gave them a crunchy exterior.

we were so smitten by these short ribs, we literally ordered another large order of pipikaula ($10.40) and had to fight each other for the last piece too! in fact, right before we flew home, we came back again to order some food to go. too bad helena's is so dang far away!

alaea sea salt (unrefined sea salt mixed with hawaiian clay that is rich in iron oxide) served with slices of raw maui onion which was a curiously delicious accompaniment to the meal. i was so smitten with the salt after this introduction that before we headed home, i bought 5 bags to take with me which promptly got me pulled to the side by the tsa at the airport.

overall, the food was intensely satisfying and my expectations were met. when i come back to oahu, i will make sure helena's is the first place i visit. and next time, i will be wearing a floral dress so i can avoid all this pants popping business...it is so embarrassing when one cannot zip up one's pants.

Helena's Hawaiian Food
1240 N. School St.
Honolulu, HI 96817
(808) 845-8044

www.helenashawaiianfood.com/

price: $$
verdict: holy shit!