a sexy valentine

as you make plans for valentine's day (possibly a romantic dinner or a sweet surprise for your burning love), i ask that you consider throwing these candy thongs/candy bras into your plans as well. nothing says love me sweetly on a day devoted to love than candy covered private parts. red roses? meh? hard candy on penis? yes?

if you're wondering WHERE you must go to get these sexy candy undergarments, it may be of no surprise to you that they are located in the sex capital of the world, pasadena, california, in a little candy shop called temptations chocolate factory.

here in this candy shop, the temptations can be wholesome, like candied apples buried under mounds of chocolate, marshmellows, and other confections. i personally enjoy putting my mouth around the almond caramel apple. oh so mcdreamy in the pie hole.

for the record, the almond caramel apple is the only good tasting product in this shop! i find most of their candies to be old and stale or cheaply made, possibly just a step up from drugstore candy goods that are a few days old. their apples, on the other hand, are usually fresh and tart with just the right amount of sweetness from the thick layer of caramel. the crushed almonds provide a wonderful nuttiness to your hearty apple bite.

but if you are not tempted by apples, then there are other temptations (though not as tasty in my opinion), that harken to the chocolate whore in you such as blocks and blocks of fudge flavored with all kinds of decadence. i'm personally not much of a fudge fanatic so i can't vouch for these, but they are pretty to look at.

or you may be tempted by all things square-like, like these endless candy choices in "bar" forms like the m & m bar, the oreo bar, the mint bar, the almond bar, etc....nestled amongst all types of sugary sweetness made into balls and clusters.

of course for the kid in you, you might be tempted by old school candy of yore that can be bought in bulk. jelly beans, salt water taffy, sour gummies and the like. i wouldn't recommend getting those here though since they look kind of old and neglected and a bit faded from the sun.

or perhaps unconventional confections such as lollipops with worms and petite scorpions in the middle tempt you the most? well lucky you, there's a ton to be found here, though i've never tried them nor do i have plans to try any in the future.

or you can just settle for something naughty, like this frozen banana shlong. sadly, this frozen banana was the worse i've ever tasted. not only was it way too brown from being frozen for decades, the chocolate also tasted plasticky. bleh!

all in all, not the best place to pick up fancy chocolates, BUT, if you are ready to step outside of the box this valentine's day to pick up some candy undergarments for your loved one, then do drive over to temptation chocolate factory in pasadena. seriously, WHO can possibly say NO to you if you're wearing a candy thong?! happy bowchickabowwow to you.

Temptations Chocolate Factory
40 W Colorado Blvd
Pasadena, CA 91105
(626) 440-9149

price: $
verdict: it's aight