i need baked goods like a mole needs a long ass hair growing out of it. ugh, carbs be my poison and i find myself intoxicated with a carb high every time i wander through the sgv. depending on my gps, i typically find myself at diamond bakery. no ooohs and ahhs here, but it will do its job in padding your ass with some unforgiving fat.
most things are individually packaged which makes eating on the go that much easier. so rather than stuffing face with pathetic stale crackers during my break times, i can instead, stuff face with things 3x as fattening and 5x as filling like all these baked goods that you find here.
my beloved "triple nipples." these hawaiian sweet bread-like buns are sealed together but can be easily pulled apart to reveal three different types of filling in each bun; custard, taro, and red bean. three for one packages like razor blades, bar soaps, and sweet dessert buns rock my world.
the pineapple bun. there's a flakey crust to the top and a coconutty filling inside. it's a bit heavy but tasty.
coffee cake. nothing spectacular but it will cure a sweet tooth even though it's not too sweet which is why i like it.
curry meat pie. too much flakey crust. one bite will land a lot of crust on your shirt. one really big bite might actually get you some meat that's in the middle. unless you enjoy a lot of crust and not enough filling, this is not a product worth getting.
shredded meat bun. there's this lardlike shlack that goes on top and the middle of the bun and the shredded dried meat sticks to it. diamond bakery probably has one of the worst renditions of this bun because of the lard they use. seriously, it's nasty. here's the bun, looking like a bald head with new curly hair growth and pimples to boot.
so in general, i find this bakery to be a good place to pick up the triple nipples, the coffee cake, and the pineapple bun when i have a sweet tooth. although there's a plethora of other things to try here, i usually limit myself to those three aforementioned items because everything else is just aight or has technical issues...like fruits that aren't always the freshest when topped on their tarts. besides, i need extra carbs like a fat man needs a speedo. enough said!
Diamond Bakery 744 W Garvey Ave Monterey Park, CA 91754 (626) 289-5172
(read the following to the tune of vanilla ice's "ice, ice, baby").
all right STOP, let me elaborate so listen.
bagnatic is back with another obsession.
SOME things, grab a hold of me tightly,
flows through my mind, daily and nightly.
are you thinking FOOD? yo like you didn't know.
i seek new eats while my fat belly grows.
to the extreme i rock my spork like a vandal,
eat everything i see until my belly can’t handle.
DAMN! as my belly balloons.
i'm eating pork belly, banh mi, and shiitake mushrooms.
DEADLY, when i see a new eatery,
i hope it’s delicious or else that’s a felony.
i love it, i love it, but i effin’ gained weight.
i better get on a treadmill and work out twice a day.
but if that’s a problem, yo i'll manage it.
buy bigger pants and that’ll solve it.
yum yum baby it’s good, it's gooood…..
(actually, my first love is bags, but i couldn’t work it into this gangsta rap of mine. anyways, my name is bagnatic. hello and nice to meet you).