Monday, April 26, 2010

l.a. kings and tenderless chicken tenders

very rarely do i witness dreams getting crushed, but yesterday i did. although my grown man friend has a cool exterior and a placid face, somewhere inside, his inner child cried because the L.A. Kings lost to the Vancouver Canucks. BAM, POW, out of the playoffs they went, just like that. it was so sad.

the sad story began with the kings herd making its way towards the staples center. the kings pride was pretty palatable and everybody donned their kings gear ready for a victory riot if it were to happen....but of course it wouldn't *tears.* i also saw a lot of hoochies and after a second of reflection decided that OF COURSE there would be because it's a testosterone laden event which means it's the perfect venue to have many men google at perky boobs and big hair. no seriously, how come you ladies ain't cold? i literally covered myself like i was going to the antartic.

(even magic johnson donned his kings outfit in support)

as i beeped through the security line with a security wand at my crotch, there was no denying the hunger pangs that i felt. after all, it was dinner time so i beelined for the nearest eatery that served anything remotely fried cuz we all know that sporting event + hunger = a fistful of obligatory fried eats. skyline grill was such the place for greasy eating.

i got myself some chicken tenders with fries. the chicken was so heavily breaded that it did not retain even a semblance of chicken or tenderness. and the ranch dressing that i use to dip everything including my fingers had a sweetness to it which i found completely strange and unappealing. peoples, what is up with putting sugar in everything?!?!

my friend, who was obviously unaware of the greasy sporting eats formula, went the sophisticated route and got a pastrami sammich at cooke's corner. i did not see a deep fryer anywhere.

(carving some pastrami for his sammich)

although pretty to look at, it was none too tasty either. if your tongue has been spoiled by langer's pastrami sammich or anything similar to that caliber, then you would be better off saving a few dollars and eating a few dried up chicken tenders with yours truly.

we settled down and the L.A. Kings scored the first goal of the night. i got so excited that i almost catapulted my chicken tender through the air.

but the momentum did not last. the score eventually tied at kings: 2, canucks: 2.

at this point, i definitely needed a sweet pick me up. i recalled the last caramel apple i had here was delicious, but this apple really sucked....just like the canucks. the caramel was one degree shy of tasting burnt. i should have returned the darn thing, but i didn't.

well, just like the chicken tenders and the caramel apple, the game was a total loss. although i enjoyed rooting for the kings, i did not enjoy hearing the collective groan expelled from the spectators at the staples center when the canucks won 4 to 2. although my friend would not admit it, i'm sure his inner child along with countless others cried a little that night.

oh well boys, there's always next season. the end.


  1. Overly breaded chicken tenders, a burnt dessert and the Kings lost? This is a sad tale, indeed. Maybe next time you need to drink more?

  2. yeah, it was pretty sad for him. i hope he finds peace. i hate buying overpriced drinks at a sporting event...i know, what's wrong with me? it could have dulled the pain.

  3. Boo to a bad caramel apple! They're usually so good there!

  4. i love caramel apples, too, but yeah, i'd have to agree - thumbs down if they're tasting a little on the burnt side.

  5. weezermonkey- i know!!! the last time i was there for a lakers' game, the caramel apple was so goood. that good memory convinced me to buy this fucked up one...ugh.

    me is you- caramel apples are the best in getting your daily fruit intake :) except for the burned ones of course.


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