strawberry clusterfuck

my penchant for clusterfuck events brought me to the oxnard strawberry festival this past saturday. what isn't there to like about crowded spaces, long ass lines, and disorderliness? to top that all off, you get oodles and oodles of strawberries to do as you please....mmmm, delicious. i think i will stick them in my pie hole, thank you.

we started off our day with a brisk stroll through the arts and crafts portion of the festival which housed endless knick knacks that will one day make it to a garage sale near you. check this crap out, the "savings socks." really?! they're literally socks decorated with puffy paint willed into creation by a first grade artist...the funny thing was that it actually had a lot of business! again, i'm convinced that the average american will buy anything.

music box bags. why? you can't even open the bag to store things in! double why?!

marshmellow blowguns made out of plastic tubing. crapola.

circling around all these knick knacks getting squished by people wearing fanny packs drove me to drink...yes please :) i had to try the strawberry wine so i did. um...four words: boone's farm wine cooler. the alcohol content was non existent but it was refreshing nevertheless.

then it was time to get our grease on which meant consuming all manners of fried evils. the food lines are usually pretty daunting at clusterfuck events like these, but the drive to eat badly prevails so you just wait. i especially admire the folks that just plop their booties down right in the middle of traffic to start eating. excuse me sir, but i might step on your hand cuz you're SITTING RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF FOOT TRAFFIC.

garlic fries. OOOOF COURSE. a festival never seems quite complete without a tray of greasy garlic fries. i love them thin and crispy and piled high with garlic bits, enough garlic to leave a heavy presence of stank in your mouth. this tray was particularly delicious....mmmm....

fried zucchini, so heavily breaded that a cop adorned with this batter can withstand 20 bullet shots. man it was yuck.

fried artichoke hearts has got to be my new favorite greasy eats. i loved the tartness of the canned artichoke hearts with its greasy shell.

then it was time to buy a crazy amount of fresh strawberries to pass out to our families and of course for me to consume until i lay down on my kitchen floor convulsing from a strawberry overdose, complete with foaming red bile and spit. oh how i love strawberries and lots of it!

as we headed out of the clusterfuck ready to hop on the freeway to go home, a sign at one of the farms offered folks a novel opportunity to pick our own strawberries. whoo hoo! we made a sharp right and found ourselves in the middle of strawberry fields forever.

i recognized the snooty privilege i had harvesting strawberries for fun when other folks did it as their full time job (and believe you me, it was somewhat difficult). that's why i cringed at the utter waste i saw as i stomped about wondering why people left perfectly fine strawberries to be trampled on or to rot. ugh.

because if left alone, those poor premature strawberries would eventually ripen into beautiful red gems, gems in which a whole weekend of festivities were created in order to celebrate its existence. ahhh strawberries...how i love thee.

California Strawberry Festival

http://www.strawberry-fest.org/

my chinese new year

first of all, i'm proud to say i'm a super delicious fob. i have my traditions, i LOVE my traditions, and even though i have my own home, i still adhere to my traditions and all the rituals that i've grown up with even if it's somewhat diluted. so on lunar new year's eve (which i will now call chinese new year's/tet cuz that's what it means to me), i did mad cleaning of the abode. like madness. dusting, sorting, washing, wiping, drying, spraying....ack. i even gave charlie a bath and bought him a new red collar to celebrate chinese new years! of course my dear dog had to participate.

the sexy boy was tired from getting gussied up for new year's. love that red collar!

and of course i had to get my haircut, to tame the fro that's on my head. if you didn't know this already, the word "hair" in chinese can mean "hair" or "fortune," depending on the tonation of the spoken word. it is no wonder that if you're planning on getting a haircut that you get it done before the new years. you wouldn't want to "lose" any fortune by cutting it off now do you? i sure know i can't afford to.

after cleaning the whole day and getting a haircut, we go over to my parent's place for our chinese new year's eve dinner. both my parents were chefs at one point or another and even tried owning a few restaurants between them. needless to say, my parent's cooking can rival a few of the great ones out there. here's my dad's infamous squab. crispy, with honey glazed skin. the perfect dipping for this bird is rather simple; roasted salt granules, pepper, and lemon juice. delicious! we tear them up in seconds.

sliced lotus root stir-fried with sliced carrots, snow peas, and leeks. the lotus root has a snap to it and is fun to eat. one of my favorite dishes as well.

stewed sea cucumber, abalone, and shitake mushrooms. i really hated this dish as a kid because of the gelatinous, at times rubbery, texture of the sea cucumber. but of course, since it's an expensive item, my mom would nag me until i ate a few pieces. as i've matured, i've learned to appreciate the interesting taste and texture of this really ugly sea creature...and yes, it's a creature and not a sea veggie as it's name implies. it doesn't sit well with many folks, but you should give it a try if you get a chance. nothing like challenging your tastebuds right?

shark fin's soup. my mom makes it for all the major holidays and is a real treat in our household. she's perfected the soup and i've yet to taste any other versions that can rival hers.

stir-fried snow fungus, asparagus, carrots, and snow peas. delicious as well. the fungus is crunchy and makes it fun to eat.

fried fish. i'm not too fond of looking at fish heads, but every table must have one since the word "fish" also connotates luck and fortune. fortunate for us, not fortunate for the dead fish. we usually dip the fried fish in fish sauce mixed with lemon juice.

stir-fried glass noodles with wood ear and shitake mushrooms. another "lucky" dish for the meal.

and here's our new year's table in all its glory. believe you me, if i had 2 stomaches, both would have been filled up. my belly is quite lucky to have such a delicious spread every year. and yes, we still fob it up with the newspaper lining as our "table cloth." don't tell me you don't.

then we go home to shower and clean up so we can wash the old year away. at about 11:30 p.m., my dad, sis, and i head out to the temple to pray while my mom stays home to pray to our ancestors. the year "opens" once it strikes 12 a.m. it's an auspicious time to start praying to all the deities and wish for health, happiness, luck, and fortune for yourself and your family. every year, it gets rather cold and the line gets rather long to go into the smoke filled temple, but it's tradition and i feel my year starts off right when i do it.

then we head back to my parents to light incense and to pray to our ancestors and to eat some "tong sui" which are rice flour balls in a sugary ginger soup. pretty yummy but at about 1 a.m. in the morning, eating is the last thing on my mind.

and then "gong hey fat choi, gong hey fat choi...." lookie here, what's this?! for me, really for me? score! yes, i still get excited when i get my lai si even though i have a full time job that pays me alright.

i hope you had a great new year's and that the year of the tiger treats you well. gong hey fat choi everybody!

a vietnamese thanksgiving

i had suggested cooking a turkey dinner for my family at my wee house, but my mom would rather do her vietnamese style thanksgiving instead which means breaking out the hibachi bitches! my mom loves making "bun cha" when she has the time, which is a rice vermicelli noodle dish with grilled pork patties and grilled pork belly. so for turkey day this year, i ate a monster helping of pig instead.

the hibachi grill. genius. seeing this grill was like seeing an old friend and having convos about the good ole days when i had to sit there and fan the flames with cardboard. this year, my little sis was given the job. haha sucka! here's the pork patties getting a good grilling.

grilled pork belly. one of my favorite components in this dish. nothing says PIG loudly than a helping of pig fat and skin.

then my mom decided to grill some goat. my vietnamese vocabulary is not that extensive so she either said goat or deer. either way, the billy goats gruff or bambi tasted good.

and here's charlie, lying patiently, waiting for a scrap or two to come his way. this dog eats WAY TOO MUCH when his grandma's around. i think he can get a job at a busy street corner hustling for scraps. he is rather good at it. look at that face and those droopy eyes!

an here's my momma, the best cook ever (my dad is amazing too. once upon a time, my parents both owned a few restaurants between them, but restaurants are tough business ventures to say the least, but i'll save those stories for another day). she's getting the bun ready for consumption. i also bought a bottle of prosecco from silverlake wine to celebrate the meal. that was tasty too!

my mom outdid herself this year with the eggrolls. they were crispy on the outside, but super juicy in the inside. the eggrolls were stuffed with a generous helping of crab meat and shrimp along with other ingredients that makes the eggroll KING of all rolls. i consumed enough to last me till christmas i think.

all the grilled meats are put in this vinegar and sugar sauce to marinate a bit. the sauce adds flavor to your bun as you ladle everything into your bowl.

my bowl of bun cha without the helping of veggies that should probably go in there. carnivore, what can i say?

our vietnamese thanksgiving!

and that's how MY BELLY spent thanksgiving. there are many reasons to be thankful this year, from the serious to the silly. for sure, being able to write a silly blog about food and actually have people (you know who you 3 folks are out there) read it is one of them. i hope you all had a wonderful meal and didn't go into debt with all the black friday shopping. i didn't...i'm rubbing my belly and playing the wii! i love 4 day weekends!