voodoo at the palace station

rare are those instances when you put something in your mouth and immediately sigh from pleasure (DON'T GO THERE NASTY).

eating at the oyster bar in palace station casino will make you SIGH, MOAN, GROAN, and YELL out in pleasure because the food will fuck your tongue and make you wiggle (YES, I WENT THERE).

thanks to alex, a.k.a afro a.k.a ac, i headed to the oyster bar for my last late night meal in vegas. holy shit must i send him a stripper for alerting me to such a tasty place because not only was i beyond pleased with what i ate, i also discovered a newfound love for gambling at ghetto places.

first of all, i went there late on a tuesday so there was no wait. i can imagine a scary long line though when it's during peak hours. i hopped on a stool and proceeded to order the combo pan roast which had shrimp, crab, and lobster meat (though i was told later that the palace pan roast was the best choice because of the added chicken and sausage. oh wells, something to look forward to next time). the cooking was done by this funny man named J.J. he reminds me of a charlie chaplin but in color and wearing a chef's hat. i liked him a lot.

hi J.J.!

the pan roasts (which oddly does not involve a pan or any roasting), are cooked in these hot ass cookers that will sizzle anything in 5 seconds. once the said items are cooked, the handle is pulled to pour out the contents into a bowl. efficient, fast, and deadly. i like.

double, double toil and trouble; fire burn, and caldron bubble....i'm telling you, wicked voodoo boiling up in here. one taste and you'll be hooked for life.

and THIS, my fellow food enthusiasts, is THE combo PAN ROAST. it turns out that a pan roast is a super, uber creamy tomato based soup/stew with seafood or meat in it. you eat that with rice which i recommend that you get in a separate bowl so you can ladle as much or as little of this creaminess on it as you want. i will not use the foodie cliche and call it "crack" or "crack-like." it's more like smoking opium in an opium den while you languish on a straw mat in euphoria while your life pasts you by. the after effects of eating this delectable but heavy pan roast will make you WANT to languish lazily on a straw mat. alas, i did not find one after dinner so i had to languish at a craps table instead.

a hunk of burning love, aka, shrimp.

you know what? i'm GLAD the oyster bar is located in faraway vegas cuz if it's anywhere close to me, guess what i'll be eating for breakfast, lunch, AND dinner? yes, i will turn into roly poly violet beauregarde after all.

and THAT, dear friends, was my happy belly ending to all the las vegas eats. thank god. there is something truly unholy about eating out for every single meal.

Oyster Bar

Palace Station Casino

2411 W Sahara Boulevard

Las Vegas, NV 89102

(702) 634-2411
www.palacestation.com/dining/oys...

price: $$

verdict: omg, i love it!

juicy las vegas

excuse my tangent, but does this butt look familiar to you? i swear i’ve seen this bally’s billboard FOREVER. anytime we pull off the 15 and i see these round buttocks, i know i'm not in kansas anymore.

the first night’s dinner was spent at hot n’ juicy. we saw this on man vs. food and decided to check it out cuz i'm gullible like that. i had sneaking suspicions that this joint was the vegas version of boiling crab….and i was right! oh phooey. don't get me wrong, i enjoy boiling crab, but to eat that here in vegas was a waste of time and money especially when i can do the same at home. it's located in a strip mall so look for it's signboard if you happen to crave some of these cajun spices.

we ordered a pound of crawfish in their hot n' juicy special sauce. you get to tailor your spice level so we picked "medium" because i didn't want my butt to burn the following day when i visit the toilet. the sauce was tasty with spices that were very reminiscent of boiling crab. the crawfish is a favorite crustacean of mine, but eating it entails a lot of work. there's a teensie weensie bit of meat in the tail so remember to suck the crawfish head and eat the tailmeat and then you're done.

we also ordered a dungeness crab in their lemon pepper sauce. we should have inquired about the size because the whole darn thing costed $30, holy moly. the meat was sweet and trumped over the crawfish because the spices weren't as potent so you can actually taste something other than sauce. here it comes out, suffocated and ready for consumption.

a side of cajun fries. very crispy. i likey fries.

the david and goliath of the seafood world.

see, i came here because of him. so the moral of this story is, stop watching t.v. and eating where this white man eats. fool. the food with tip came out to be $54.04 and honestly, it still left us a bit hungry but gambling dulled the hunger pangs a bit.

Hot N Juicy Crawfish

4810 Spring Mountain Rd

Ste C & D

Las Vegas, NV 89102

(702) 891-8889

www.myspace.com/hotnjuicy_crawfish

price: $$

verdict: it's aight

frozen crawfish is EVIL

The Boiling Crab
742 W Valley Boulevard
Alhambra, CA 91803
(626) 576-9368
www.theboilingcrab.com

price: $$
verdict: it's aight

this location is very small and i can imagine it being super busy during peak hours. my prissy friends and i went right when it opened so we were seated immediately. we ordered 2lbs of crawfish, a dungeness crab, one basket of fried shrimp, and another basket of cajun fries. everything other than the crawfish tasted yummy, though the ambience perhaps did not fit the bill for everyone in our party. and to make matters worse, one of my friends splattered sha-bang sauce on our other friend during her zealousness to get to the crawfish tail. hahhahahaha...no, i mean, dang, sorry you have sauce splattered on you. and funky garlic fingers is not sexy for everyone. perhaps i picked the wrong location for our meet up.

but ahhhh, boiling crab. how you've disappointed me in another way!! when i heard the word frozen crawfish, i SHOULD not have ordered it! even being smothered in the whole sha-bang sauce did not cover up the funk that frozen seafood has. they did warn us though, so it was my fault for ordering it. no wait, it's your fault boiling crab for letting me order it!

i had a tasty experience at the garden grove location and had a meh experience here. i'm quite it had to do with many factors.

finger frickin' tasty

The Boiling Crab

13892 Brookhurst St

Garden Grove, CA 92843

(714) 636-4885

http://www.theboilingcrab.com/

price: $$

verdict: omg, i love it!

dear jenny craig,

you don't know me, but you will soon because i just went to boiling crab and GAINED about 10 pounds from my lunch.

here's what i ate:

-crawfish (or crawdaddies as we use to call them in the bayou) drowned in the "the whole sha-bang" sauce. oh holy jesus, god almighty, benevolent buddha, THIS sauce is so good! though i only ordered "mild," it was clear that i'm a wimp and couldn't take the heat. it felt like the devil himself licked my mouth cuz my mouth was on fire!

-cajun fries (nice crunch with seasoning. my friend dipped her fries in the sha-bang sauce. not a bad combo at all).

-etouffee (which tasted like congeeled butter on rice. probably won't order that again).

-fried shrimp with cocktail sauce (yummy! nice, crispy batter coating the butterflied shrimps).

i don't plan to eat again jenny. i've used up all my points for the next year and a half and besides, i can't fit into my pants no more.

*tears*

bagnatic

from bag to belly.