hawai'i: the crack seed store supplies me with good crack

it was just a matter of time before this crack whore found herself in front of THE crack seed store in honolulu. yeah, it might have taken a 6 hour plane ride and flying over the pacific ocean to do so, but once she stood in front of the doors of this tiny temple that glorified all that was crack seed, it was GAME OVER. her slitty eyes immediately zoned in on the rows and rows of glass jars that housed the crack she had long been searching for.

she was overjoyed that the savory crack seeds were aplenty, the legal kind that can't be smoked, shot up the arms, nor snorted lest you want to deal with a big plum seed stuck uncomfortably in your left nostril. because dahlings, crack seed, for those of you unfamiliar with it, is a preserved asian "candy" a.k.a. preserved plum that is typified by salty, sweet, and sour flavor profiles. li hing mui would be the powdery form of crack seed and is utilized most commonly on fresh or dried fruits to provide a contrast to the said fruit's natural sweetness. once eaten and appreciated, these crack seeds are truly addictive, befitting of its name.

crack jars. lovely, lovely, crack jars.

before long, her eyes rested on this glorious green shelf laden with THE THINGS she flew so far for, li hing mui covered gummies. powdery li hing mui covered sour patch kids, green apple gummies, watermelon gummies, sour belts and the like...totally sweet, yet totally sour. loves.

her mouth puckered in anticipation, knowing that each piece of li hing mui covered gummy will taste even better than the last and with giddy anticipation, she ended up buying enough bags to put her over her carry-on limit.

this crack seed store is also known for their li hing mui icee which is a regular icee mixed with a spoonful of li hing mui juice. the salty flavors mixed well with the typically sweet icee flavors.

and how grand was it for her to find a little crack seed in the midst of this refreshing red sea? she was happy. this crack, ain't whack she says and with one hefty sip and a bag full of li hing mui gummies, she bade the crack seed store a fond farewell and swore to come back again. and she will.

The Crack Seed Store
1156 Koko Head Ave.
Honolulu, HI 96816
(808) 737-1022

price: $
verdict: omg, i love it!

hawai'i: helena's hawaiian food will pop your pants good

while people head towards hawai'i thinking of sunning on the beach or snorkeling with the fishes, my own hawaiian plans involved eating till my pants popped. sure, i can pop my pants anywhere, BUT, i wanted to pop them real good with some authentic hawaiian food like the stuff you find at helena's hawaiian foods in honolulu. omg, ono. no, seriously, ono.

in order to avoid the maddening lines that form almost as soon as helena's open, we got there at exactly 10am (they are open tuesday through friday so plan accordingly). given the option to sit anywhere, i made sure i found a seat that faced the infamous pipikaula short ribs as showcased in the man vs. food hawaiian episode. i think i'm just intrigued by hanging meat and by golly there were lots of them!

after a quick once-over with the menu, we settled on "menu d" ($17.85) which was comprised of their four most popular items; kalua pig, pipikaula short ribs, lomi salmon, luau squid, two cubes of coconut haupia for dessert, and a choice of either two scoops of rice or poi.

although everything was delicious, the standout items by far was the luau squid which consisted of taro leaves, squid, and coconut milk which was cooked until it became a mushy, delicious green mess reminiscent of creamed spinach. although unattractive to look at, it was in fact, one of the highlights of the meal and the silky fragrance of this dish made it rather craveable.

but the king of it all, the main reason to go to helena's is THIS, the pipikaula short ribs. omg. the 24 hour drying process allowed the short ribs to attain an almost jerky like texture but the flavors of the marinade has also deeply penetrated the meat, giving it an intense flavor with every bite. it also didn't hurt the flavor cause that these ribs were deep fried before serving which gave them a crunchy exterior.

we were so smitten by these short ribs, we literally ordered another large order of pipikaula ($10.40) and had to fight each other for the last piece too! in fact, right before we flew home, we came back again to order some food to go. too bad helena's is so dang far away!

alaea sea salt (unrefined sea salt mixed with hawaiian clay that is rich in iron oxide) served with slices of raw maui onion which was a curiously delicious accompaniment to the meal. i was so smitten with the salt after this introduction that before we headed home, i bought 5 bags to take with me which promptly got me pulled to the side by the tsa at the airport.

overall, the food was intensely satisfying and my expectations were met. when i come back to oahu, i will make sure helena's is the first place i visit. and next time, i will be wearing a floral dress so i can avoid all this pants popping business...it is so embarrassing when one cannot zip up one's pants.

Helena's Hawaiian Food
1240 N. School St.
Honolulu, HI 96817
(808) 845-8044

www.helenashawaiianfood.com/

price: $$
verdict: holy shit!

hawai'i: tanioka's seafoods and catering for some poke lovin'

my first trip to oahu was possibly one of the most relaxing, belly stuffing experiences ever. something about the clear blue hawaiian waters, the lush greenery, and the 24/7 warm weather brought out my ultimate relaxed state of mind. and as you might know, when one feels relaxed, one indulges.

thanks to misty and a few other resources i scrounged up, as soon as humanly possible, i searched for my first gustatory indulgence; poke (!) and was lead to tanioka's seafoods and catering in waipahu for some ono poke. OMG. ono is right.

there's all kinds of ono eats here which explained the crazy long line, but i was determined to stick to the poke plan. i mean, i know it's my vacation and all, but i didn't want to be mistaken as a beached whale when i lie on the beach. moderation is key. yes? besides, there were many days of eating to be conquered.

the variety of poke offered at tanioka's was rather amazing so i decided to order a bit of everything with a few extras thrown in. even though it was a bit pricey, the freedom to choose as much or as little as you want since it was charged by weight gave me some leeway with my wallet.

i settled on six different poke flavors; the alaea poke, onion with limu, onion poke, lomi ahi, limu, hot alaea poke, seaweed salad, and spam musubi. i was determined to experience a poke overdose...and i did.

what a fantastic spread! everything looked so fresh too! and the ahi was so chunky....yumz.

the alaea poke had this deep redness to it and was mesmerizing to look at. taste-wise, it was rather light and one dimensional since all i really tasted was the alaea sea salt. i must admit, not a favorite of the bunch but so pretty to look at!

the limu poke on the other hand, had great texture to it. the crunch and saltiness from the sea algae was a pleasant addition to the ahi.

but the best tasting poke in all that bunch was the hot alaea poke. i really enjoyed the spicy sweetness to it and the supple fish was just plain pleasurable in my mouth. i aggressively finished the whole container on my own without sharing and will definitely go back for this baby when i visit oahu again.

and to round out our first official hawaiian meal, i ended the poke overdose with my first spam musubi on the island. not the best that i've tasted but satisfying nevertheless. but boy, tanioka's poke has left quite an impression on me. i shall return.

Tanioka's Seafoods and Catering
94-903 Farrington Hwy
Waipahu, HI 96797
(808) 671-3779

www.taniokas.com/

price: $$
verdict: omg, i love it!