Wednesday, September 9, 2009

jit the eff out jitlada!

Jitlada Thai Restaurant
5233 W Sunset Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90027
(323) 663-3104

price: $$
verdict: not worth my time

once upon a time, there was a hungry belly named bagnatic. she went to hollywood to seek out thai food with her friends, not to seek out tricks as she was apt to do at this particular village. she suggested jitlada because it sounded legendary from other food enthusiasts and like a lemming, she took her friends in search of this little taste of bang cock in hollywood. how appropriate.

the village that jitlada is located in has horrible parking for water buffalo drawn carts. in fact, you might have to park a few lis down, but lo and behold, a space opened up for their cart and off the three travelers went to nourish their travel worn bodies.

upon entering jitlada, it was obvious that those that served this bang cock had no work ethic. although this food stop was EMPTY, the workers did not acknowledge that guests had entered their premises and actually pretended that they did not exist. even though eye contact was made, nobody made the effort to welcome the three hungry travelers. being the feisty beyatch that bagnatic was, she yelled out "hi, how are you!" hoping that it was enough of a ruckus to get noticed. it was. they were seated and food ordering commenced.

bagnatic ordered a thai iced tea. it was punishingly sweet. she regretted not bringing her own water gourd filled with plain water to swap out this overly sweetened tea.

bagnatic then ordered the steamed mussels which were indeed legendary. the mussels were frighteningly large like hormone injected meat pillows in a shell. the broth that they were stewed in was deliciously sour with a mighty fine kick to the tongue. she enjoyed this a lot. in fact, she would have bathed herself in this juice if it had been appropriate to disrobe at that time. intrigued by these mussels, bagnatic shoved them into her mouth in rapid succession with total disregard of her companions' needs. she recalled knocking their chopsticks away with ninja swiftness if she saw them hovering over the mussels.

meat pillows. bagnatic persuaded a few to jump into her mouth.

the curry chicken was acceptable but not noteworthy. in fact, it was clear that a chicken disease had swept through the village because there was an obvious chicken shortage. only a few pieces of chicken actually made it into the curry. perhaps what was left of the cluck clucks were reserved for royalty.

everything else after these two dishes were complete disasters. the chicken fried rice was completely soggy and appeared to have come straight out of the village dump. to have soggy fried rice is a cardinal sin and god will smote all soggy fried rice makers. to top this off, it was soggy AND oily. will god do a double smote? will he? please say yes prayed bagnatic. please god, say yes.

the worse dear friends was this disgusting mango sticky rice. imagine a mound of sugar masquerading itself as sticky rice and you will be eating what these three friends had that day. sickenly, punishingly sweet. a few bites was enough to convince our travelers to cease and desist consumption. NOW.

overall, jitlada was not a worthy food stop for bagnatic and her companions especially because of the wretched service they received. even the mouth watering mussels will not persuade bagnatic to return. off her belly goes for other adventures!
Jitlada Thai on Urbanspoon


  1. sacrilege! girl we will go back. you have to order shit from the back pages. that mango rice and chicken fried rice is for white folks from the mid-west. they don't know how to make panda express dishes. what a pity!

  2. can i order good service from the back pages of the menu as well? service SUCKS big balls there!

    you speaky the secret language of jitlada?

  3. service is lackluster at times esp. when the owner is not around but sheee-it girl, the food is awesome. every dish is like the mussels dish when you order the non-americanized dishes.

  4. now i'm curious what the other dishes are like. ok, i'm going to wait for you to lead me to mecca.

  5. geezus. so sorry to read this. you really should've attended one of the big dinners... Southern menu or bust. And after visiting so often, the drive seems quite... close?

  6. chinese soul, i couldn't monopolize the ordering since i was with 2 other friends. perhaps i should give jitlada another try, though she be a tempermental bitch.


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