toshi sushi: brothas from another motha?

wedged between the say cheese store and a shoe repair shop on hyperion avenue in silverlake is an itty bitty sushi bar called toshi sushi, NOT to be mistaken for toshi sushi in little tokyo with its omakase deal. this toshi sushi has a tough looking brotha slicing up your fish and you better like what you eat or he will surely rip you a new orifice and expect a tip from it. KIDDING. miguel, the sushi chef, is actually rather NICE and chatty too, and was constantly seeking approval of his sushi making skills while i ate. must be cuz i'm asian, and therefore, an authority figure when it comes to sushi. whether or not you require a japanese man to serve up your sushi is an entirely different issue not to be covered by roaming belly because we all have our preferences and i'll leave it at that, ALTHOUGH, i must admit i was a bit skeptical when i saw him behind the sushi bar....

but we sat our asses down cuz the belly was hungry. first up was maguro. it didn't have that deep magenta color that i like, but the quality of the fish was fine. in general, their bar does not appear to house a lot of fish which makes sense because other than their happy hour (monday through friday from 5-7 for discounted rolls), it seems rather dead...like a fish out of water.

mixed sashimi salad. white fish, salmon, and tuna, on a bed of romaine lettuce with gubo, sesame seeds, and carrot strips drizzled with ponzu sauce. it was pretty hearty and fortunately, i had an eating partner to split it with or else my pants would have splitted.

their sexy pink roll which sounded too irresistable to say no to because we all know it's hard to say "no" to sexy thangs. i should know because it's usually hard to say "no" to me (i lie, i lie). it's basically a spicy tuna roll topped with a red line of sriracha sauce with salmon and avacado slices and sprinkles of sesame seeds. it was tasty but hardly sexy.

i then asked miguel to recommend a delicious roll as a follow up and to no one's suprise, he said his "miguel angel roll" was delicious and unbeatable. this roll turned out to be a spicy tuna roll topped with albacore tuna and grilled onions drizzled with ponzu sauce. everytime i tasted the grilled onions though, i kept thinking i'm missing some carne asada. it was tasty too.

we ended the meal with an appetizer, a spicy tuna on a crispy rice cracker which was ICK. everything was really bland so i don't know what happened there.

overall, as a sushi place it's AIGHT. the rolls are fun to eat so i would go there for some of that, but if you're looking for uber fresh fish that dances in your mouth, you probably need to go somewhere else. the price points were great as well and so is miguel. i would drop by again if i feel a sudden sushi crave while shopping at trader joes.

Toshi Sushi

2804 Hyperion Avenue

Los Angeles, CA 90027

(323) 666-1019

price: $$

verdict: tasty, try it!

voodoo at the palace station

rare are those instances when you put something in your mouth and immediately sigh from pleasure (DON'T GO THERE NASTY).

eating at the oyster bar in palace station casino will make you SIGH, MOAN, GROAN, and YELL out in pleasure because the food will fuck your tongue and make you wiggle (YES, I WENT THERE).

thanks to alex, a.k.a afro a.k.a ac, i headed to the oyster bar for my last late night meal in vegas. holy shit must i send him a stripper for alerting me to such a tasty place because not only was i beyond pleased with what i ate, i also discovered a newfound love for gambling at ghetto places.

first of all, i went there late on a tuesday so there was no wait. i can imagine a scary long line though when it's during peak hours. i hopped on a stool and proceeded to order the combo pan roast which had shrimp, crab, and lobster meat (though i was told later that the palace pan roast was the best choice because of the added chicken and sausage. oh wells, something to look forward to next time). the cooking was done by this funny man named J.J. he reminds me of a charlie chaplin but in color and wearing a chef's hat. i liked him a lot.

hi J.J.!

the pan roasts (which oddly does not involve a pan or any roasting), are cooked in these hot ass cookers that will sizzle anything in 5 seconds. once the said items are cooked, the handle is pulled to pour out the contents into a bowl. efficient, fast, and deadly. i like.

double, double toil and trouble; fire burn, and caldron bubble....i'm telling you, wicked voodoo boiling up in here. one taste and you'll be hooked for life.

and THIS, my fellow food enthusiasts, is THE combo PAN ROAST. it turns out that a pan roast is a super, uber creamy tomato based soup/stew with seafood or meat in it. you eat that with rice which i recommend that you get in a separate bowl so you can ladle as much or as little of this creaminess on it as you want. i will not use the foodie cliche and call it "crack" or "crack-like." it's more like smoking opium in an opium den while you languish on a straw mat in euphoria while your life pasts you by. the after effects of eating this delectable but heavy pan roast will make you WANT to languish lazily on a straw mat. alas, i did not find one after dinner so i had to languish at a craps table instead.

a hunk of burning love, aka, shrimp.

you know what? i'm GLAD the oyster bar is located in faraway vegas cuz if it's anywhere close to me, guess what i'll be eating for breakfast, lunch, AND dinner? yes, i will turn into roly poly violet beauregarde after all.

and THAT, dear friends, was my happy belly ending to all the las vegas eats. thank god. there is something truly unholy about eating out for every single meal.

Oyster Bar

Palace Station Casino

2411 W Sahara Boulevard

Las Vegas, NV 89102

(702) 634-2411
www.palacestation.com/dining/oys...

price: $$

verdict: omg, i love it!

getting toasted at ichiza

no buffets for me here in vegas, but i do like a spread of eats to choose from when i grub. i think that explains why the concept of small bites or tapas style appeals to me especially if i'm not looking for a meal but rather a "buffet" of things to nibble on to stave me from mad hunger.

while in sin city, i had a craving for japanese food. i learned that ichiza had yakitori so i immediately thought of my beloved shinsengumi in gardena and hoped i might find its likeness here.

like many eateries in vegas, ichiza too, is located in a strip mall. the inside is cozy though and has a bar area, tables, and tables with sunken footing so you can pretend that you're sitting on the floor when in reality, you're just posing like you're doing it authentic style when you're really not. crazy posers.

i decided to sit at the bar because of the cooking action. besides, i like the informal feeling of eating at one.

a slew of things were immediately ordered. the spicy tuna roll started the eating frenzy. it was ok, but nothing special.

garlic chicken gizzard with long green beans. the gizzard was severly overcooked which made it tough and elasticky AND it was way too salty. i felt like i was eating salty garlic flavored rubber bands.

grilled beef tongue which was also overcooked. instead of being tender, it was super duper chewy. ichiza has NOTHING on shinsengumi when it comes to the grilling.

grilled liver. the sweet teriyaki sauce they used to cover the liver overpowered its natural taste. i like my liver lightly grilled, slightly undercooked with a sprinkle of salt...and with a helping of fava beans....muhahahaha. again, no comparison to shinsengumi grilling.

grilled gizzards. tough mofos these were. bleh.

a small bowl of their "ichiza's ramen dx" to share which had kakuni (pork belly), bamboo shoots, green onions, half an egg, seaweed, and a small sheet of dried nori. the broth was complex and warmed my belly as it made its way down. the ramen was aldente and delicious. i liked this dish a lot and would order it again.

black cod fish fillet with miso sauce. the cod was super tender, buttery, and fell to bits when you poked it. it also had the right amount of saltiness from the miso sauce and was the best savory dish of the night by far. this dish is a must order if i ever come back here again.

the whole grub fest ended with a most delightful "honey toast" which was a half loaf of toasted bread with a ton of bad-for-you fixings. the middle portion of the bread was sectioned off into fours, then buttered, and drizzled with honey with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. it is such an omg dessert in so many ways! for a carb whore like myself, i really loved it though the zipper on my jeans tried its darndest to keep things together. i would come back to ichiza JUST FOR THIS:

breaking down the walls, breaking down the walls like the berlin wall. there were tears of joy in my eyes as i heifed this one down.

overall, ichiza had a few winners though the grilled items were sadness on a stick. i think for a japanese restaurant in las vegas with affordable price points, it was pretty darn good. like i said, i'm coming back here for the cod fish and honey toast.

Ichiza
4355 Spring Mountain Rd
Las Vegas, NV 89102
(702) 367-3151
price: $$
verdict: tasty, try it!

syrup in square crevices = tasty

if waffles and pancakes got into a fight, waffles would win hands down, in a breakfast ufc championship with maple syrup running all over. it would be a sticky, but delicious battle and waffles would walk away with a big blingy belt that announces him to be the CHAMPION of breakfasts in all the land. mmm...waffles so good.

while in vegas, we got a taste of the most delicious waffles ever! thinking about it makes me drool so i'm wiping my mouth vigorously as i type. they were CRISPY, not crunchy. LIGHT, not heavy with the most gentle waffle taste to grace these hardened tastebuds of mine. welcome to waffles cafe, a place where waffle dreams are made.

bright colored interior. it's like a burst of sunshine while you eat.

here's the co-owner jeff. he was really shy about me taking his pic so he asked me to take a butt shot instead. what do you think of his butt? super friendly, nice dude that makes you want to root for his business. i hope his cafe becomes a success so they can bring their business out to l.a. as well cuz he's korean and what the heck are you doing in summerlin? can you even get kimchee there?

the concept makes total sense, but i have yet to see one here in l.a. if you know of one, give me a holla. basically, you replace the bread of any sammich WITH A WAFFLE INSTEAD. pure genius? i think yes! but again, this ain't any ole waffle, it's jeff's secret recipe waffles which makes it delicious.

i ordered a tuna sammich that came with a side of potato chips. a scoopful of tuna salad was heaped between two waffle halves which gave this sammich such an interesting/odd taste and texture combo for my mouth. other than the disgusting sweet sauce that they squirt in all their sammiches (WARNING: ask them to WITHHOLD their sweet sauce or you'll be sorry. it is nasty), it was a truly yummy concept. i would have loved to have tried everything if my belly could have handled it.

the dessert waffle was decadent with fresh strawberries, nutella, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and a big lump of vanilla ice cream as its cherry on top. again, i appreciated the airiness and crispiness of the waffle and all the sweetness piled on top. if you don't want to get this "yooni's favorite," you can always create your own dessert waffle. each ingredient will have a different price point, but it allows you control over your own food.

after this memorable meal, we came back right before we left vegas for a farewell breakfast. i ordered the basic breakfast meal which was under $5 with coffee included (before 11am)! the waffles were heavenly once again. it's like biting into a crispy cloud with maple syrup drizzled on top. i really enjoyed this a lot as well.

i was given a card so that jeff can stamp my orders. a few meals later, i will get a $5 credit toward something delicious. i look forward to coming back here and eating everything all over again. mmm...drool. *wipe*

WaffleS Cafe
5165 S Fort Apache Rd
Ste 160
Las Vegas, NV 89148
(702) 597-9775
http://www.wafflescafe.com/

price: $
verdict: omg, i love it!

seven out for the maple tree

craps is my poison. here's the typical shit that comes out of my mouth when i'm at the craps table:

"2 dollars c and e"
"one dollar on all the hard ways"
"5 on 5, 5 on 4"
"hard ways back up"
"hard ways working"
"1, 2 on a hop"

and i always, always say PLEASE even though i'm flinging my chips at the dealers when i establish my bets. if i'm lucky, i can crap for 1+ hours...3 max. if i'm not, then i'm 7 out in 15 minutes. at any one time, i can have about $34 on the table for one roll. not bad, but in hindsight, not good either right? $34 can buy me food, a basic neccessity, or it can buy me the thrill of tossing those ruby red dice. my chinese blood always chooses the thrill...gambling is genetic and i won't deny my roots.

but sadly, i usually walk away empty handed from the craps table and i catch myself in a remorseful state the following morning. usually, the pathetic-ness of my situation heightens because i find myself in a whacked out establishment eating cheap food because me pockets be empty! the maple tree was such a place to wallow in remorse.

first of all, the positive reviews of it on yelp are WHACK. the maple tree is a nursing home meets greasy spoon and i don't want to be in a nursing home nor eat from a greasy spoon. if you ever go there, you'll know what i mean AND they play 80's music. weird. though i liked eating my eggs with tiffany's "i think we're alone now" playing in the background.

aiming for something simple after a previous night of gambling complications, i ordered myself their traditional breakfast. scrambled eggs, potatoes, sausage, and bacon....the toast was really buttery. i could have wrung it out and hung it up to dry with a pool of butter forming on the ground and the toast would STILL be buttery. everything glistened with grease and the only difference between this plate and denny's would be the mom and pop factor of it.

a friend decided to get the fried steak which was a thinly hammered out piece of beef, battered then fried, suffocated under a ton of gravy. ewwww.....methinks deliciousness left this plate a LONG time ago.

i would never come here again. even though it was SUPER CHEAP, you will pay dearly as your heart clogs up from their generous use of grease. so in the end, who wins? certainly not i, as i sat there penniless with an extra fat roll given to me by the maple tree....i also recalled a lonely tear drop that rolled down my left eye as stared out into the distance thinking how vegas wronged me once again.

The Maple Tree
6000 Spring Mountain Rd
Las Vegas, NV 89146
(702) 362-5151

price: $
verdict: not worth my time

it's hoppin' at the peppermill

karate kid is not the only place you will find a "grasshopper." in fact, if you head over to the peppermill in las vegas, you will find a perfectly delectable grasshopper that is creamy, icy, minty, with a splash of spirits. as you drink it, you're required to do the wax on, wax off motion, i kid you not. i do caution you that this is not the best "get fucked up drink" you can order because the alcohol level is almost nonexistent. but if you want a "tastes like a minty milkshake drink" then this is as good as it'll get. my friend introduced me to this place a while back and i've never been the same...damn you friend! like an obsessed lover, i haunt this place every time i find myself in sin city so i can wax on, wax off.

besides, the whole peppermill/fireside lounge experience is worth the overpriced drinks. the mood is 100% big pimpin' and sitting there for just a bit will give you a crazy urge to break out a small mirror and snort some coke. it has great kitschy ambience with the neon lights, watery firepit in the middle, brass bars, and faux foliage to complete the big pimpin' mood. the place also oddly transports me back to thin john travolta and his saturday night fever days. bell bottoms were hot and i wish i wore a pair as i sipped my grasshopper checking out all the pimps and hos.

you can also order little nibblies as you drink. buffalo wings are a safe bet here though they are kinda fatty. i eat all the carrot and celery sticks because i like to pretend that i'm healthy while i inhale chicken fat.

photo proof to show you i can't eat in the dark. like my gelato eating days in italy, i need a full body bib. yes, you have every right to feel embarassed when you eat with me.

i really enjoy this place and am glad to have made its acquaintance. going to vegas means visiting the fireside lounge, ALWAYS.

The Peppermill Restaurant and Fireside Lounge
2985 Las Vegas Blvd S
Las Vegas, NV 89109
(702) 735-4177
www.peppermilllasvegas.com/resta...

price: $$
verdict: omg, i love it!

juicy las vegas

excuse my tangent, but does this butt look familiar to you? i swear i’ve seen this bally’s billboard FOREVER. anytime we pull off the 15 and i see these round buttocks, i know i'm not in kansas anymore.

the first night’s dinner was spent at hot n’ juicy. we saw this on man vs. food and decided to check it out cuz i'm gullible like that. i had sneaking suspicions that this joint was the vegas version of boiling crab….and i was right! oh phooey. don't get me wrong, i enjoy boiling crab, but to eat that here in vegas was a waste of time and money especially when i can do the same at home. it's located in a strip mall so look for it's signboard if you happen to crave some of these cajun spices.

we ordered a pound of crawfish in their hot n' juicy special sauce. you get to tailor your spice level so we picked "medium" because i didn't want my butt to burn the following day when i visit the toilet. the sauce was tasty with spices that were very reminiscent of boiling crab. the crawfish is a favorite crustacean of mine, but eating it entails a lot of work. there's a teensie weensie bit of meat in the tail so remember to suck the crawfish head and eat the tailmeat and then you're done.

we also ordered a dungeness crab in their lemon pepper sauce. we should have inquired about the size because the whole darn thing costed $30, holy moly. the meat was sweet and trumped over the crawfish because the spices weren't as potent so you can actually taste something other than sauce. here it comes out, suffocated and ready for consumption.

a side of cajun fries. very crispy. i likey fries.

the david and goliath of the seafood world.

see, i came here because of him. so the moral of this story is, stop watching t.v. and eating where this white man eats. fool. the food with tip came out to be $54.04 and honestly, it still left us a bit hungry but gambling dulled the hunger pangs a bit.

Hot N Juicy Crawfish

4810 Spring Mountain Rd

Ste C & D

Las Vegas, NV 89102

(702) 891-8889

www.myspace.com/hotnjuicy_crawfish

price: $$

verdict: it's aight